Finding Peace: How to Cope with Christmas Alone After Divorce
Are you facing your first Christmas without the kids? If you’re a newly single parent after a tough divorce, this holiday can feel like a mountain to climb. But let me assure you, you’re not alone, and with a few thoughtful steps, you can find peace and maybe even joy in this season. Here, I’m sharing nine tips to help you cope and find comfort during your first Christmas without your children.
1. Accept That Christmas Will Be Different
Even if your marriage had its struggles, your kids were likely the bright spot that made the holidays special. This Christmas, accept that things will look different, and that’s okay. Different doesn’t have to mean bad. Embrace the idea of creating new traditions that bring peace, even if it’s just for yourself this year.
“Friend, this first Christmas alone may be different, but different doesn’t mean it has to be bad. Take this season to nurture yourself, find peace, and embrace new traditions.”
2. Be Gentle with Yourself
Divorce is hard, especially with kids in the mix. Give yourself grace and remember that this season doesn’t have to look perfect. If you planned to be with family but now feel the need for quiet time, listen to your heart. Protect your peace, and don’t feel pressured to explain yourself.
3. Know If Talking Helps or Hurts You
Everyone’s healing process looks different. Some find comfort in talking through things with close friends or family, while others need a little distance. Decide what feels right for you and honor that boundary. Not every friend who’s been through a divorce will understand, and that’s okay. Give grace to others and stand your ground in your own healing journey.
4. Keep the Holidays Simple
In moments of loss or loneliness, it’s easy to overfill the calendar with activities to distract ourselves. But simplicity can be a powerful healer. Instead of running from event to event, give yourself space to breathe. Let's face it sharing the kids with an ex can be hard especially if that ex has already moved in with someone else. It is easy to feel like your kids will like the new partner more than you. Keeping the holidays simple with those who truly support and encourage you to feel your feelings and help you to have fun anyway are the types of people you need right now. If that isn't your family maybe you need to rethink who you spend Christmas with this year.
5. Plan How You’ll Feel When the Kids Return
When your kids come back, they may be full of stories about their time with your ex. Remember that they’re in a tricky spot, and they love both parents. Even if it’s hard to hear, try not to let any bitterness creep in. Plan ahead to keep a positive, loving outlook. If it helps, write down your feelings on a piece of paper, then crumple it up and toss it away—sometimes, releasing your emotions physically can be a step toward inner peace.
6. Practice Self-Care
In your first solo holiday season, focus on self-care. This doesn’t mean anything extravagant—it can be as simple as reading a book, enjoying a warm bath, or journaling about what you’re grateful for. Learning to care for yourself well will help you rebuild the energy needed for your children, family, and future relationships. Don’t let anyone make you feel that self-care is selfish. Remember to give yourself the love and acceptance that you need. It is not other people's job to make you feel one way or another... it is your job.
Quick Tips to Cope During Christmas:
- Accept that Christmas will be different.
- Be gentle with yourself.
- Know if talking helps or hinders.
- Give grace and stand your ground.
- Keep your holidays simple.
- Allow yourself space to think.
- Try our powerful meditation for peace.
- Plan how you want to handle the kids’ return.
9.Practice self-care to recharge.
Remember, this Christmas won’t be flawless, but it doesn’t have to be. Healing takes time, and each season gets a little easier. You’ve got this, and I’m here for you if you need me.
Hugs, Brenda