Intentional Parenting: Balancing Time, Integrity, and Raising Kids in Today’s World

As a mom or a stepmom, your parenting moments matter more than you think. You may not always feel like you’re doing a great job, but you play a vital role in the health and security of your kids. This article is meant to encourage stay-at-home moms who are starting to wonder if it would be better for their kids if they worked. And for working moms, this article will help you make the most of the moments you have with your kids each day.

Intentional Parenting

From the time your first child comes home, most parents wonder if they will know how to parent. The first child helps you learn, and then the second comes along with an entirely different personality. Quickly, you realize what worked with the first child doesn’t necessarily work with the second.
As a mother of five boys two of which are my stepsons, I can tell you that each of my boys has a unique personality. My husband and I have learned to grow with each new age and stage, being mindful of the learning curve. Mistakes aren’t fun to fix, but they’re part of the parental journey. In fact, we’ve come to realize that parenting is one of the best personal growth programs out there.
We’ve worked hard to make the most of our time with our kids, and for the most part, it has paid off.

Teaching Self-Control

Did you know that parents who teach their kids self-control help build a strong knowledge base in their child’s brain?
Self-control is a crucial skill, yet many parents overlook it. Here’s how you can teach it effectively, regardless of whether you’re a stay-at-home or working mom.

For Young Children:

When your child cries because they don’t get their way, help them fold their hands and calmly tell them to “get self-control.” This simple act often stops the crying, and if you’re consistent, your child will start to understand what self-control means. You will also see them begin to do it themselves when they feel overwhelmed.

For Older Children:

When your child is older, you can send them to their room and instruct them not to come back until they’ve gained self-control. This method is different from a timeout because the child gets to choose when they return. If the child still struggles with self-control, send them back until they understand. Consistency is key. When sending a child back to their room be sure that you say it with expectation in your voice but not mean or negative.
Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, these tools will minimize friction and make your parenting moments more effective. The more consistent you are, the more your kids will thrive.

Parental Integrity

Children are incredibly impressionable. Even before they’re a year old, they pick up on your mannerisms, expressions, and words.
One mistake parents often make is expecting their children to be honest while not following the same model themselves. Lack of parental integrity leads to bigger problems, especially during the teenage years. If you tell your teen not to lie, but they’ve seen you tell white lies (like lying to a police officer about speeding), you’re undermining your message.
Kids notice inconsistencies. Make your parenting moments matter by living with integrity.

Avoiding Entitlement

Our culture is filled with entitlement, and you can see it everywhere—on the road, in stores, and in lines. Parents play a crucial role in preventing entitlement in the next generation. Proper parenting protects everyone from the damaging effects of entitled kids.
Entitlement can cause:

• Intense anger
• Defiant behavior
• Dishonesty
• Violent behavior
• Abuse of substances or others
• Suicide
• A dramatic increase in narcissism

Each of these issues negatively affects not only the child but the family and society at large. Entitled kids are often misdiagnosed with ADHD, and while labels like ADD or ADHD can be helpful for some, they don't fix anything.
If your child is struggling with entitlement, it’s important to get on the same page with your spouse. Often, one parent may refuse to allow correction, which enables and encourages negative behavior. By working together, you can avoid making parenting harder for both of you.

Final Thoughts

Those are three of my best tips for making your parenting moments matter. Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or a working mom, being present and intentional in how you parent will do wonders for your confidence, increase your patience, and allow you more time to enjoy bonding with your kids.
If you take away anything from this post, I hope it’s this: Moms play an incredibly vital role, and it’s easy to get things right with your kids, even if you only have a short time each day. Character traits are essential in all of us!
💜 Hugs,

Brenda