Top 3 Tips for Building Teamwork in Your Blended Family

Creating a strong sense of teamwork in a blended family can feel like climbing a mountain, but it’s absolutely doable with the right tools. In this post, I’m sharing my top three practical tips to help you, and your spouse get on the same page, set clear standards for everyone, and foster a home where every family member feels included and valued. Building teamwork isn’t always easy, but I’ve learned it’s worth every ounce of effort. Let’s create the kind of family that thrives together, one step at a time!

Building teamwork in your blended family is a big topic, and there are many ways to approach it. For the sake of time, I’ll focus on my top three best tips to help you, and your family build the strong foundation you need.

When remarried couples come together, they often struggle with too many standards in the household. The lack of a unified approach leaves everyone feeling confused about their roles and responsibilities. That brings me to my first tip...

1. Set a Standard for Everyone in the Household

To thrive as a blended family, it’s essential to create an environment where everyone knows what’s expected of them. Often, when I say this to clients, they’re surprised—but authentic relationships are always a win-win. If you’re not in a win-win situation, it’s time to set healthy boundaries.
The standard you set must be agreed upon by both you and your spouse. Let’s face it, there’s already been a breakdown of structure due to prior marriages, stepkids, exes, and other factors. A universal standard is key to success in your blended family.

How to Set the Standard:

• Agree on the Rules: You and your spouse must agree on the household rules and expectations before implementing them.
• Follow Through Together: Once the standard is set, follow through with it together as a team. Don’t expect to say it once and have it stick. It’s a process. Repeating yourself will be necessary.
• Stay Consistent: The more consistent you and your spouse are in backing each other up, the easier it will be to enforce the standard and build parenting teamwork.

The most important thing to remember when setting standards is that you cannot have one rule for one child and a different rule for another. If you do, you’re inviting conflict and potentially encouraging bullying. Your family has already been through enough, so don’t add to the baggage.

2. Never Move the Standard

Once you’ve set a standard, don’t move it. Make sure the standard is reasonable and achievable. Setting standards that are too high can lead to more problems, such as having to revoke privileges.

That said, the standard must also have some flexibility. Constantly changing the rules will only create confusion and undermine your efforts to build teamwork. Think carefully before setting any rules or boundaries in your home.

Standards Should Apply to You Too If you’re wondering how to build teamwork in your blended family, the standard must apply to you as well. Everyone in the household is watching how you and your spouse interact with each other. If you don’t follow your own rules, it creates a breakdown in trust and respect.

Setting the bar too high or too low will make your job as a parent even harder. As Les Brown famously said, “If you set your standard too low, you’ll hit it every time.”
In blended families, respect is harder to earn, so don’t make your job harder than it already is. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

3. Live the Standard Personally

Finally, the third tip: you must live the standard personally. You can’t set a rule for your spouse and kids that you aren’t willing to follow yourself. They’re all watching—your kids and spouse see the things you do, and they notice the compromises you make.

If you treat your spouse poorly, your kids will internalize that. They might think it’s normal to have a dysfunctional marriage or even assume that moving in with someone is a better option than getting married. The example you set matters.

Do the Right Thing for Your Family You’re going to make mistakes, and that’s okay. Just focus on doing the right thing for your family. Your family is one of the most important things in the world, and the most important part of your family is your marriage.

When you nurture your marriage, you’ll have an easier time getting on the same page with your spouse. This unity is the foundation for all teamwork in your blended family.

Final Thoughts

If you take away one thing from this post, I hope it’s this: working together as a blended family takes time, effort, and intentionality, but it’s worth it. Building parenting teamwork may be a long process, but in the end, it creates a healthier, happier family dynamic.
You’ve got this!!